i just google imaged poop.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
