so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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