he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
