I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You can't special order awesome
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize