how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
