Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
