so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
