My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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