Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
