I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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