When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
