Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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