i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
