dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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