yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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