People in love make me want to vomit
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
