Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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