man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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