What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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