i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it glows. i had to have it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
