Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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