I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
