so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
