Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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