I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
