the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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