think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
