I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
