her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
