Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
