i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think i have two assholes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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