all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
