I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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