just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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