She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
