shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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