You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
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I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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