I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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