I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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