I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
