Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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