i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
