garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
