Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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