i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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