I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize