using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
