The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
