Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
