Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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