One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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