I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
