we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
