Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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