dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize