hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
