Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
